| 11 |
 |
11 |
Eddie's journey from his childhood in Athens, Greece
to DC is a tale rivaling even ancient mythology. Raised by his virgin mother,
who attributes his conception to a strangely stimulating encounter with
an enchanting unicorn, young Eddie amazed those around him with his immortal
feats of strength and super-human sense of style. His machismo was soon
put to the test by the throngs of young women fighting to catch a glimpse
of Eddie's legendary lady-killer smile. In a suprising twist of fate, Eddie
left Greece forever one steamy night, while desperately trying to escape
a sex-crazed gang of goddesses on the prowl. He fled to the shores of his
beautiful homeland and swam out to sea.
By morning, he had washed up on the shores of a strange land, exhausted and confused
(but still looking fabulous). In this new wonderland, which he learned to call
New Jersey, Eddie was taken in by a beautiful woman with big hair and hoop earrings
who introduced him to "The Family". After a brief but enlightening
stint working the laundromat, Eddie decided he needed to continue searching for
the true American dream. He hitchhiked South and a few blow jobs later, arrived
in our Nation's Capitol, where he is now finding out what it means to be an All-American
boy. |
11 |
